Title: Personal space
Word count: 410
Content: AU, crack/nonsense
Summary: In which Steve and Danny are raccoons, and Steve communicates his feelings the only way he knows how.
A/N: Written for sd_ldws, week one. Genre was crack, prompt was "raccoon," and the word limit was 300. This is the slightly expanded version.
"Why're you here?"
Steve looks up from the dead bird at his feet. "What d'you mean?"
"I mean," Danny says, rolling his eyes, "why're you in my tree, tracking feathers everywhere, when I specifically told you I was gonna eat a worm and go to bed early?"
"I'm making dinner."
"Oh, obviously," Danny says, throwing his paws up in the air. "You know, Steve, I think we need to talk about personal space. Specifically, my personal space and how infrequently you acknowledge it."
Steve frowns. "I--"
"No," Danny says, waving a paw in Steve's face. "My turn to talk. I know some guys like living in packs but I'm not into the whole frat boy, brothers-in-arms whateverthefuck, okay? I like solitude, and quiet. I like finding my own worms without getting a lecture about how I should be eating more walnuts."
"I'm just saying, a calorie-rich diet will--"
"Excuse me, did I give you permission to talk?" Danny says, and Steve folds his arms over his chest. "No, I didn't think so. I like worms, okay. I liked my old tree until you conveniently got it struck by lightning--"
"I did not--"
"You absolutely did, don't even deny it, Steven. You hated that tree--"
"It was too small, the bark was too smooth to climb, and it was rotting!" Steve exclaims.
"And now you've been coming around to this new tree every night, and I know you've been marking it when you think I'm not looking!"
Steve's beady eyes widen.
"Oh, you thought I'd missed that, huh?" says Danny. "How many times have you peed on this tree?"
Steve averts his eyes. "I haven't--"
"HOW MANY TIMES."
"Like ten times."
Danny just stares at him. "Are you insane?"
"I just--" Steve swallows. "My tree gets lonely sometimes."
Danny's chest aches but he ignores it. "So you thought you'd just...pee all over mine instead of asking to move in?"
"God, you're such an idiot," says Danny. "It's a good thing I'm in love with you or I'd probably kill you."
Steve blinks. "Does that mean I can stay?"
"Just try not to get this one struck by lightning," Danny says, tackling him to the floor.