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FIC: Inversely proportionate (Steve/Danny, PG-13)

Title: Inversely proportionate
Author: tailoredshirt
Characters: Steve, Danny
Summary: "The quality of a Nicolas Cage movie is inversely proportionate to the length of his hair."
Rating/content: PG-13 for language
Word count: 300
A/N: Written for sd_ldws, week 3. Prompt was "cage," genre was "humor," and the word limit was 300. I needed more words this week! I had so many Nicolas Cage jokes, you guys. :( Thanks to aunt_agatha for her patient assistance. ♥


"The quality of a Nicolas Cage movie is inversely proportionate to the length of his hair."

Steve looks up from a preview for Sorcerer's Apprentice on Blu-ray. "Huh?"

"It's true," says Danny, looking very pleased with himself. "National Treasure? Hair's pretty short, movie not so bad. Kind of fun, actually. Long hair, terrible movie? Two words: Con. Air."

Steve pauses. "Wasn't that one word?"

"That's a hair drier."

Steve thinks for a minute. "What about Raising Arizona?"

"What about it?"

"That's a pretty good movie. His hair's kinda floppy, and he's got that weird mustache."

"Did I say anything about facial hair?" says Danny. "And Holly Hunter makes that movie. Your argument is invalid."

"Well, there's that funny scene where he wears the panty hose over his face and steals the diapers--"

"It wasn't that funny."

"And what about the bad movies where he had short hair? City of Angels, Ghost Rider--"

"His hair's on fire in Ghost Rider."

"He won an Oscar for Adaptation. His hair looked like a bird's nest."

"What're you, a Nicolas Cage expert?" Danny says, glaring at him. "When've you even had time to watch all these movies?"

"On base," Steve says. "We had a marathon once. The Rock, Face/Off, Moonstruck..."

"Moonstruck," Danny echoes, looking at him. "Macho sailors sitting around watching a fucking Cher movie."

"Well, Cher was pretty hot."

Danny sighs. "Okay, Battlefield Earth. Long dreadlock things--"

"That was John Travolta."

Danny just looks at him. "Why do you always do this?"

"I'm not doing anything--"

"You always have to ruin my moment."

"I'm just saying, Danny, it wasn't Nicolas Cage. Now, if we're talking John Travolta--"

"No," says Danny, shaking his head. "Not talking about John Travolta."


"Because he creeps me out."

"Two words: Pulp Fiction."

"Let's just watch the game, okay."
Tags: fic, fic: h50, pairing: steve/danny

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