Summary: In which Steve is the most efficient assistant manager Burger King has ever seen, and Danny takes no pride in his work.
Rating: PG-13 for brief language
Content: humor, AU, no spoilers
Word count: ~300
A/N: Written for round one of the Steve/Danny Last Drabble Writer Standing competition, sd_ldws. The prompt was "ruler" and the category was AU. Yay, I won week one! \o/ Thanks to shes_gone for the beta. ♥
"You're putting the tomatoes on wrong again."
Danny looks up at Steve, who is watching him with his arms crossed over his chest. With the earpiece, bulging biceps, and black t-shirt, he looks more like a SWAT team member than an assistant manager at Burger King.
"What does it matter? It all goes in your mouth at the same time."
"By the time they get home, the tomato juice has made the bread soggy." Steve pulls a bag of styrofoam cups from below the counter. "And sixty-eight percent of Americans think the burger tastes better if the pickle doesn't touch the cheese."
"That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard, and I don't want to know how or why you know that."
"It's in the training manual," says Steve. "Maybe you should read it sometime."
"It's on my bedside table," says Danny, squirting ketchup onto a bun. "Right between Twilight and Shania Twain's autobiography."
Steve squints down at him. "You know, if we were in the 'Stan, your insubordination would probably get us killed."
"If we were in Afghanistan," says Danny, rolling his eyes, "it wouldn't matter what order I put the fucking pickles. We work at Burger King. We make food for people who are too lazy to get out of their cars. You may be the ruler of this kingdom, as it were, but at the end of the day we still go home smelling like cooking grease, and by the way, that smell never goes away."
"Do you want to wear the plastic crown today?" says Steve. "It might make you feel better."
"I hate you so much," says Danny, throwing the burger into a sack. "So, so much."
Steve smiles. "That was a good burger."